I’m feeling very much that I am not keeping up. At the same time I am knowing more of the reality of human existence as an expression of a creative distortion, a monstrous failure in a rational potential. And yet the paradox of incapacity permeates the generality of the abilities of the species.
Those who see this are not endowed with the capacity to implement either. It is like a mouse projecting itself to be an elephant.
The task of spreading awareness is in itself daunting. The task of developing the skills of consciousness seem impossible.
So why do I focus on this vision of human potentiality in a condition of impossibility?
Because I can only think it to be a better choice of insanity than greedy, self-indulgent materiality.
This vision may well be something about seeking to escape human animality, and yet, I too am all of what exists in its dilemma. (read something about the Character of Homo Sapiens hereditary temperament of stepping on others in lieu of its own needs. See May 9, 2019, page 27, 28; The New York Review of Books)
Again I return to the zero perception of life in the acceptance of knowing with humility within that which is given in Nature, regardless of what is the dream of myself.
However…. Ha! Ha! Ha!
I can’t avoid the experience of the actuality of living. “Until death do us part.”
The psychic vacation starts when I can realize how to accept myself within the limits of a tattooed pattern of existence. It ends when I die.
The character of the last chapter of life is of concern only because I have the neural nerve ganglia of the human species—that I use—as I watch and listen to it speak to my limited consciousness.