It’s a feeling that, once upon a time, I could not survive without a tribal identity and place. In Babylon and Persia they demanded that you give proper respect and commitment to the leaders of the empire to bring cohesion and coherence to the functioning of the nation of communities. It was to meet the … Read more
“Dream Thinking” Not a clue! Thinking about the emptiness of my dead body and how that affects my sense of meaning and purpose of it all, life itself. It isn’t clear. It’s something like an “empty” question. I sense it to be a question that has to be asked and one where there is … Read more
I don’t know where the beginning and the ending is now. At present I am feeling like a senseless continuance of breathing in time with no other purpose of existing, fortunately without a lot of suffering and pain. I feel that I am going nowhere and coming from something vague and lost that is behind … Read more
“What is it about me that so offends you?”, I asked. In a way I understand, but it feels like something that is in its totality, something given me in my character and personality that, like my body, is felt to be unacceptable, and that I cannot change. I feel trapped in myself. No matter … Read more
Twisted Meanings It is clear that there are believers seeking to ‘own’ enlightenment in the same way they seek to own evolution, or is it to disown evolution? The enlightenment, a cosmic “word label”, is about knowledge of what exists. It includes behavior and response, thinking and feeling, in contrast to what is believed—confused as … Read more
Abandonment: The Dream I was in my shop located behind the stadium. There was a competitive sports event starting and at the same time a construction and remodeling of the facilities. A temporary fence blocked off the fans and the stadium itself. My shop was in the area of the construction. I was in my … Read more
Why do the unevolved rage at the evolved? Why do the insane rage at the sane? Why do the insane rage among themselves? Why do the insane rage? Perhaps they intuitively know it all to be incoherent? That sanity is just something borrowed to hold on to coherence? All of this feels like something I … Read more
The dream of hope is lost In the self’s desire Going into the emptiness of the future There is nothing there for me Nor for all that dies. To think we are of concern in destiny Is a distortion of nature Easily filled with fantasy And the vulnerability of irrational lies. There was once a … Read more
It would seem that if you really believed and respected God that you would want to learn everything possible about “God’s work” and the life it creates. But no, all that is required is that you “believe” without any questioning. No qualifications, no requirements, no intellectual curiosity. All you have to do is listen to … Read more
The final chapter. I don’t expect that I will be here in one year. So, this is to say goodbye to April. It has been a significant and meaningful struggle. I have still to learn acceptance, more so to embrace Life as it is, rather than what? What I want? What it is? What is … Read more