Moving away from time.
It’s clear that the fundamental character of living is time. The story of existence is to slow down energy to hold itself in a particle so it has time to register how it feels to exist, in expanding itself, in order to slow down the fire of energy into particles, to form matter, which discovers itself and desires to be in matter where it can be something, feel something. Perhaps this is the real, creating itself out of the unreal, of energy into particulate matter formed out of consumption, otherwise known as eating.
From energy to particle, from matter to organization, to become, to seek relationship to being, to know, to be aware of itself, i.e. ”Identity”, Ego.
But what of the borrowing of form only to materialize and then die? What remains from the dialogue of matter to energy? What is carried forward into an even more successful reach into matter from what is left from before? How is the seed of evolution carried into the future’s becoming, ever more aware in existence and yet dissolving, fragmenting into the echo of mess as its remaining forms are scattered into other bodies that continually feed on the remains of death’s carcas and in a process of the redistribution of energies and matter?
Does it need more than what it is given in forming, in birth? When do the organisms reach out? Why? Is it because matter likes the condition of manifestation more than the dialogue of pure energy that has no reflection? Does it feel an emptiness from the memory of belonging when it first became a particle and then in the instant of its disappearance, it remembers? Does this ‘experience’ of movement from energy to particle give, drive, matter into a will for being?
It is no wonder those who have reflected on these things long before we knew of the physics of matter, invented something, anything, to fill the void of answers to their ‘sensing’ of creation’s will. They invented “God” so as to resolve ambiguity and pretend to understand that which is out of reach of knowing, and yet remained captive in intuition’s connection to the magic of the equation of matter’s existence. It is easy to glamorize fantasy in desire’s conviction.
It yet remains a mystery, or knowing, that is continuously opening as consciousness as we better measure the nature of energy and matter. Now as we stand in our bodies of existence, now in jeopardy because of our being’s inability to allow itself to join with the reality of life’s equation of existence.