The final chapter.
I don’t expect that I will be here in one year. So, this is to say goodbye to April. It has been a significant and meaningful struggle.
I have still to learn acceptance, more so to embrace Life as it is, rather than what?
What I want? What it is?
What is it?
Strange to realize the character of reality as it is, and then what I may think and feel. Especially the confusion which is brought on by what I like and don’t like . . . my questioning of gratifications in the complexity of desires I can’t explain. Then there is my mortality as an undertone—always present in living.
Perhaps a tuning in or our, depending on one’s health, mental and physical?
I guess one could call it engineering one’s attitude. All this depending on one’s psychological and neurological DNA endowment.
I like the phrase, “decorating life”. It says so much about our behavior.
I forget that we are carnivores. What is initiated from this seed are two things. One are appetites and all kinds of desires. The other is the merciless self important “Me”.
I find it revealing from this insight and perspective of the basic impulses driving all life. The decorations of social behavior that seeks to control, guide, and manage it in the interactions with others, for example. The closer we are, the more constricted; in distance, not so much.
It’s probably why we can be so arbitrary and ruthless—not including thinking and feeling regarding strangers. The further away they are the less we care, sense, or feel their existence. Most of the world’s populations do not exist in the hearts and minds in the locals of all cultures.
This is probably the whole foundation of the character of the social dialogue where the presence of strangers is never brought to the dinner table of life. Eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Strangers do not actually exist.
There is the situation of “close”. Close is where the ”other” is actually visible in form, and the looking into the eyes of the other at the dinner table of life.
Two carnivores eating the stranger. In today’s world the “stranger” is the chicken on the plate, the eyes of which you didn’t want to look into when you killed it in order to be eating dinner.
Perhaps the difference between slaughter and murder is in the purpose of eating?
Murder is to destroy those whose eyes you are not able to look into. Is this because of fear, hate and rage? We create the myths of purpose and meaning in order to decorate the carnivore’s dinner and not have to think of who we are eating.
Is this not something rooted in the neural matrix of the brain, our brain?
The ego is the heart of the Carnivore.
The ego live’s in the heart of Carnivores.
The ego is a carnivore at heart.
I like this conclusion about what drives animals and humans alike, motivating living’s movement and describing the actuality of the character of the close relationship and the distant. This a question of what is within the reach of intimacy and what is out of reach..
There are “things” within that one shares only with him or herself. Some can look at their “inside”, some can’t. Some can share what is inside with those outside, many can’t. All have difficulty and confusion about what to share, when to trust and with whom. Some have so much courage about doing this and many very little.
Art, creativity, imagination, and intuition are the tools of inner and outer sharing. Our era is a time when we are learning to use the tools of inner sharing. This is a reflection of the evolution of consciousness.
“Eat me! But be not afraid to look me in the eye when you slaughter me.”