Loose fit. Finding place, meaning, purpose. When I look at the routine of life I see it holding me together, as everything in the world today seems so much more conflated. Part of it is the hard-to-accept reality that there is little hope for human life in coming together beyond the meaning of basic survival and to live just as other animals live. I assume there is something beyond this for humans other than the satisfaction of just its doing. But, when the glitter comes off, and if one is pragmatic, there remains what?
“Life is but a dream….La La La La La”, which means the thing itself may not suit what one thought or felt it to be. Then one sits in the chair of relative comfort watching what one thought to be a storm, only to find the storm to be just as natural as the calm. The only difference being that the storm requires your attention. You then discover how to avoid its nature and how to receive its disturbance. There is no choice of what or how you would “like” it to be. There is only the question of how you are going to engage it in what it is. And here lies the basics of one’s emptiness of meaning and purpose.
“What has it to do with me?” . . . “What have I to do with it?”
It is the question of meaning
My meaning and our being
I see nothing substantive
Other than flying in the Grand Sky of it all
Big and small
While I crawl
In some measure of meaning
That never satisfies or gratifies
Always incomplete in uncertainty
Like the leaf great or small
Sailing in the wind
Lost in the heaven of meaning
Never to be found
I can only dream
I am like feathers blowing off the bird
Never finding the wing that flies
In the stormy winds scattering
How does one find meaning
In an empty sky?
How does the dream fulfill its meaning
After I die?