July! More than I wanted or expected perhaps, but still I’ve been given a lot. Validation comes to mind—we all want and need validation. I was thinking of Annette and now Eric, Dorette, Kyrmet, followed by Tony Morrison and all of those who surround me and see something that is at the core of validating … Read more
Not feeling all that certain about my own coherence. I said something poignant to Annette and it really upset her. I have been thinking about it as well. “Nobody cares about what you do”, I stated. A kick in the belly to the ego. She took it hard and as I am thinking about it, … Read more
It’s rather shocking listening to a narcissist-tyrant ranting on the skillful use of emotional words, words he uses to twist and stimulate feeling-based convictions from ignorant-others, when he himself doesn’t care about them, except as ego-proxies, rousing their anger. When I speak and write, the goal is to use words to bring understanding and meaning … Read more
There’s an atmosphere of loose ends—no place to put things, things don’t fit together, a bad place to fill with meaning and good. Some are raging at what they feel to be ‘needing something to blame and attack’ to focus their hate. I can’t account for hate, but once it is there it won’t be … Read more
I saw and interpreted a neural development of self awareness in the octopus from watching a Nova documentary with the capacity of basic reflecting on itself in its environment like humans. Its neural matrix is its whole body because it has no skeleton. On the ocean floor it wraps itself around all of life in … Read more
So what is normal? Perhaps an even more significant question: ”Is the current “normal” healthy?” We have to look at the current nature of ego as not healthy, not normal. As individuals, most of us are not all that aware, nor integrated, in what I would call mindfulness. By mindfullness I mean a nonjudgmental state … Read more
I have grown quite dependent on this writing. My task is to establish myself, my own identity in my consciousness and awareness, so as not to lose the origins of myself vs the other—which is the part outside myself. This is an important distinction because it provides for my identity’s authenticity. What I perceive is … Read more
There is something about looking at humans in the same objective view as all other animals that is a bit frightening or intimidating to most. Two things come to mind: first is seeing humans as objects like anything else—a box, a dog, a cat, a cloud, etc. Second is seeing humans as being something special, … Read more
“Every now and Zen.” Some of what you’re doing in the present that is a doing of the past. Zen in the present. I feel that there is something in what I am experiencing that is a responding to, originating from, and rooted in the past. There is something that guides me, “us”. This is … Read more
“Do you realize how your arrogance obstructs your awareness?” More comes to me, even as I think of how to open the gates of knowing with those who won’t. They are psychically closed, always knowing the emptiness of death in their hidden feelings, knowing one’s meaning is ended. I should learn the art of penetration … Read more